A LETTER TO YOU

Retrieved from Pratisthamishra

RE: 14^TH FEBRUARY MEN CONFERENCE AFTERMATH

The above matter refers.

First, I render my apologies for not attending the men’s conference as I had a function dubbed “Touch A Soul” reaching out to children abandoned by some of you. I am writing to find out the outcome of that meeting. Days have gone since then and I submit to you that all is not well. We are headed south. We have left our place, fellow man.

I rarely watch TV but man, the news all over the place is not good. Fellow man, you take a woman out, enjoy the bliss, then when she notifies you of the new development; your phone loses network, your car develops engine problems, you get a new job in another city and you continue with your life? But why, why couldn’t bar this that if zipping up was a goal too far to reach?

I feel you man. Yours is a divorce case. Well, painful it was. However, those bundles of joy (I mean children) had nothing to do with you two before you started whispering sweet nothings, borrowing airtime for chats and meals at big hotels. They are missing you. The mother is busy covering up your absence with a flashy life style she can afford, thankfully for her unwavering determination. I hear them-children giggle with plastic joy, while the suppressed subconscious mind is screaming in my ears, “Could you be our daddy?” Man, where are you?

I am your daughter’s teacher. I am your son’s mentor. That's fine. But Man, you’re still alive and you are just there to let them see a father figure in me? Fellow man, when I read the episodes, watching the interviews with the children on celebrity status and I don’t see you even on the footnotes, it breaks my heart. That another man can access passwords to your daughter/sons’ phone at the tender age, you left him to be the one showing him/her what site to and/or not visit while you wine and dine doesn’t disturb you? Like for real, fellow man, we can do better. So, you are comfortable flipping through your memory, remembering 9 months after the notification a child was born and through the years you’ve never even talked…

I’m talking with you man. I know you pledged to be responsible. But the law leaned against you. Things are changing. Go back. Demonstrate you can. Your child needs you. Not your money, s/he needs your breath, the knowledge on how you keep calm even in drastic situations. Fellow man, I was hoping this was the content of the men’s conference in February. I think I was wrong. What did you dudes resolve?

My daughter is overseas. We (son and I) await her. When she comes, I will teach her. She won’t live by the phrase “What a man can do, a woman can do better…” what does that even mean? I will teach her to be the best of herself, compete with herself just like her brother is learning now. I will teach them both, that a man can not live without a woman and yes, a woman cannot live without a man. That it is fallacious to claim that, when one has a boss of the opposite gender, not to say a caretaker at home. “This world is full of double standards,” I will let them know. That when you educate a woman you have not educated the whole world, neither can one boast of having sound leadership by exalting a man alone. “Both you my son and daughter must be educated, trained, and mentored equally,” they will hear from me. That no one is weaker.

 Fellow man, well, I may not be present physically everyday due to my hustle: however, I want them to know that I am present.

Lastly, fellow man. I hope you join me in this pledge. I pledge to be a father when I become one. I pledge to be actively present. I pledge to let keep my child out of the quagmires of my relationship, wisely showing her why I had to choose the present life style. I pledge to be there and provide guidance, my child shall learn pertinent things first from me, not some other son of man. This I believe, is Art4Leadership

N/B: I am married and armed with the following truths:

Divorce doesn’t have to be drama.

Children should not suffer for my lifestyle.

I will do my best to keep it that way, but I am not immune to a break-up. It’s just by grace.

The opinions expressed in here are solely owned by the writer.